A Heart Two Sizes too Small
by Lady Dragon
Summary: Its Aya's first Christmas with Weiß. Can the guys convince him that despite their differences they're all a family? [PART 3 NOW UP/COMPLETE]
1. part 1

**Disclaimer:** I have yet to pull out an offcial document that reads: "Ye now owns the rights to Weiß Kreuz and all characters therin" from inside a Cracker Jack box.  
  
**Warning:** Much angst on Aya-kun's part for a bit tis all really o.O;   
  
**Author's Notes:** Muwhahahaha! I am writing a christmas fic once again ^_^ Weiß Kreuz style of course. Funny thing is besides some angst its a fluffy fic I'm in some sort of funk I just cant do angsty, broody stuff as of late. Forgive me if the characters seem a lil OOC.   
  
Now this fic is taking place during the first year that Aya is with the assasin group Weiß. I'd place this as after the manga but before the series or maybe within the first few episodes of the series at least. Hence Aya's deepset angst and the kitten's attempts to befirend him. ^_^   
  
Anyway I will try my damndest to get the entire thing up before Christmas but it might take a bit so please be patient minna-sans ^^; 

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**A heart Two Sizes too Small.**  
by Lady Dragon  
  
  
  
**Part 1.**   
  
It was the near same routine every year. The difference this year lying in one key factor, there was a new member of Weiß to shop for and that was were the problem lay. He didn't believe in Christmas for the religious reasons per say, neither did Omi and Ken-ken as far as he could tell. Christmas for him was a chance to be with his _'family'_, to be surounded by friendship and well, love. To know that those whom he cared for were all safe and happy at least one day a year.   
  
Up until a few years ago Yohji Kudou did not particulary celebrate, nor believe in Christmas. But when he came to join WeiB he had found himself taking pleasure in the western holiday. Omi's wide-eyed eagerness and Ken's enthusiastic innocence combined with the magic of the holiday itself could warm anyone's heart. Maybe even the frozen heart of their newly christianed leader, Fujimiya Aya.   
  
Every year the morning after Thanksgiving, Omi would rise extra early and decorate the shop and home with decorations galore. Rows and rows of garland were wrapped down the banister and hung down from the ceilings and around the room. Out came the yards and yards of flashing lights, and even musical ones that blinked in time with music. Hardly an inch of the shop and home was not covered in fake snow or tinsel. And then came the tree. Each year it seemed new ornaments were placed on it and more lights were wrapped around it. And of course the tree could not be snythetic, it had to be fresh and full with plenty of places for hooks. Each year the tree seemed to get bigger and bigger and Yohji began to dread lugging the tree down to the basement. But to see the joy on Omi and Ken's faces when it was decorated and lit up made the cumbersome trip well worth it. So many decorations were placed thoughout in fact that one found themselves questioning the decorator's sanity.   
  
Ken still seamed to opertate on the belief that neither of the two would know what to get him and so sport's catalogs found themselves lying about, conviently opened to the page of intrest. While small ads and directions to the local sporting goods store were tacked up to the bulletin board and the refridgerator.   
  
Yohji had found himself wondering what Aya's reaction to the anual festivites would be; and the redhead's reaction he had noted to his dismay had been, well none. The Christmas-trio had stood in shock as Aya came down the stairs one morning; idly stepped over and around the various boxes of decorations, through the kitchen filled with the lucious scent of baking cookies and straight into the shop to begin going over the books before the shop opened. As fangirls stormed in everyday ordering arrangements consisting of roses, baby's breath, pointsettas, holly berries, and mistletoe Aya simply continued to create stunning arangements without the blink of an eye. The man didn't even seem to take notice when said arrangements found themselves on his doorstep or in his mailbox with cards signed by girls wishing him well. As the big day aproached Yohji found himself wondering if they were really living with the Grinch himself, heart two sizes too small and all.   
  
And now with Christmas only three days away Yohji Kudou found himself once again braving the insanity that was the crowded mall. Everywhere he turned shoppers scurried about in search of the perfect gift, and finding it with seemingly ease. He had returned to this mall five times within the past month, none of those times sadly, had been for his own enjoyment. The first trip proved successful when he had acquired a blue sports bag, similar to those featured in Ken's magazines, and had it emboised with Ken's initials. He had then managed to purchase a few mangas and a new computer game for little Omittchi. Along with these gifts he had also managed to purchase a few gag gifts, as were his custom, and a few choice selections for his beautiful admirers. Satisfied with the day's acheivements he had returned home only to find a forlorn and pouting Bombay sitting in the mission room along with a very bewildered Ken.   
  
As it turned out Aya had received a solo mission earlier that day and had already departed. This according to Omi was the perfect oppurtunity to discuss what each was, or had gotten Aya. Oops Yohji had thought ruefully, I'd forgotten about _him_. With the obvious avoidance of the holiday on Aya's behalf he had naturally assumed the man held no wish to partake in the festivites what-so-ever.   
  
Seeing as how neither of them knew much about the katana-weilder or his past, let alone hobbies and intrests the discussion had ended shortly. The trio promising to do their upmost best to pull the stoic redhead out of his depression and into the Christmas cheer. For all their effort they had only uncovered new ways of setting off Aya's volatile temper and even little Omitchi had found a pair of gardening shears aimed a little to close to his vital organs than was healthy. Needless to say the situation did not bode well.   
  
Five trips to the over-populated mall and still no gift ideas were forthcoming. Close to four hundred stores where located within the mall and already Yohji had visited three hundred and forty-nine of them. There were roughly thirty stores left to peruse through, and seeing as how the remaining stores were mostly feminine apparel and beauty shops; Yohji sincerly doubted today would be the lucky day he found a gift that would manage to bring a small smile to the red head's lips. Well a small smile that did _not_ involve his untimely demise.   
  
At his wit's end Yohji made his way to an empty bench and sat down. Absolutely _nothing_ came to mind when he pictured himself handing a gift to Aya. What did the man like? Did he have any intrests, or hobbies besides yelling "Shi Ne!" and hacking people to bits with his nice sharp, pointy katana? Nothing came to mind. Oh sure his fearless leader always seemed to have a book in hand: when he wasn't working, or on a mission that is. But one would hardly be thrilled to receive a _book_ for Christmas. And that had been Omi's whole point, make him happy.  
  
_"We have to make Aya-kun realize we care, we're a family and he's a part of it!"_  
  
Easier said then done he thought bitterly. With a sigh of regret Yohji came to a sad conclusion, for all his bickering at the red head to accept them as teamates and friends he had never really bothered to learn anything about him. Rousing himself from his rather gloomy thoughts Yohji was able to catch a glimpse of none other than Ken ducking into a nearbye bookstore. Apparently he wasn't the only one who found shopping for Aya difficult. As funny a thought that was, it sadly checked off one more gift idea on Yohji's already dwindling mental gift list.   
  
If Ken-ken was going to present Aya with texts then a similar gift would probably be a bad idea he mused. Glancing down at his watch Yohji noted that although the crowds had not thinned out, the majority of the day had already passed him by. Deciding to call it a day and in desperate need of a cigeratte Yohji rose and made his way towards the nearest exit.   
  
  


**·.·*·*·*·*·*·.·**

  
  
  
He should have been at his family's mountain retreat; returning back from the woods, arms laden with freshly chopped wood his 'tousan right beside him, axe in hand. Aya-chan would have come bounding down the steps and leapt at them, hugging them dearly as though she had not seen them in years instead of a mere half hour. Kaasan would have been in the kitchen happily putting the finishing touches to that evening's meal. Tousan would have left all work behind in the city and for once they would have seen him _smile_ putting a merry twinkly in his eyes.   
  
Those days had been his fondest memories and it was always the joy of winter vacation that he looked forward to. The time of the year that they would leave the big sprawling home with its pompus air and hired help behind, and be a family.   
  
But those days were long gone, they had been gone now for three years. The pain though never went away. Instead of sitting in front of a warm fireplace with a mug of hot cocoa and Aya-chan talking animatedly by his side, he Ran Fujimiya found himself catering to the needs of rabid fangirls clamouring about the Koneko No Sume Ie, filling it with their loud squeals.   
  
The differences between the two scenarios made his stomach clench. Tousan and Kaasan were dead and his sister comatose. The man responsible for for all his misery was very much alive and roaming free. He was tired of dealing with screaching girls, of living a false life, of killing; all he wanted was to have his family back. But he would just have to settle for Takatori Reiji's death and his siter's awakening instead.   
  
Guilt and sorrow had spurred him into purchasing gifts for his fellow co-workers. It was what was expected this time of year, not that he cared about them or anything. Besides, Aya-chan would have been displeased if he had not thought of them in some small way. It had always been his favorite holiday, along with Aya-chan's, now though it felt like just another day to him.   
  
As the last customers left and Omi began locking up he felt the sorrow wrapped around his heart clench tighter as old memories threatened to overwhelm him. Without the day's distractions there was nothing to keep the grief at bay. Tossing his apron onto the counter Aya picked up the newly crafted arrangement and headed for the door. It would not do to break down infront of little Bombay.   
  
TBC   
  


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An interesting beginning I hope. Should I make this an Aya x Yohji fic, or should I just leave it as is? I dunno heh who caught the reference to The Grinch in the title? Funny ne? Anyway dont worry its not all angst tis a happy Christmas fic...er... eventually, anyway next part coming soon. Please review and tell me what you think of it so far. All comments, critique, bribes and candy greatly appreciated. 


	2. part 2

**Author's Notes:** First off I'm so sorry it took so long to get the 2nd part up. I've been down with the flu and basically took off all of yesterday and most of today. One more part to go though ^_^  
Now several people requested a YohjixAya fic where as several also wished for it to remain a friendship fic. In consideration to both parties I'm striving for a middle ground that can be interpretated by the reader, as they wish. Hey its Christmas after all, tis the season to be giving; and there really arn't that many friendship fics out there either.   
  
**Special thanks to:** Lyra, SilentStep, marsupial, Palla, LittleIsa, Ishi Tatsu, Rue-chan, strawb-sama, and Dinara for your wonderful reviews ^_^ arigatou minna-sans! 

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**A Heart Two Sizes too Small**  
by Lady Dragon  
  
  
**Part 2**   
  
  
So many people, and not nearly enough places to hold them all! I should have brought Aya with me, he might have been able to get the people to move Ken thought wildly as he was once again elbowed in the gut and shoved to the side. Spotting an opening in the sea of ever violent people Ken made a dash through the throng and into the nearly deserted store. A bookstore no less, hence the lack of people he mused. A glance over his shoulder at the milling shoppers sent a shudder through his spine and made him appreciate bookstores anew. With a shrug he began to browse, aimlessly wandering down the aisels. His Christmas shopping finished and out of the way, two weeks ago actually meant one glorius thing. He could begin shopping for himself, sugoi! Pausing in front of an anime display Ken began persuing the titles. "Something new..." he murmured aloud to himself.   
  
  


·.·*·*·*·*·*·.·

  
  
  
Their next mission should be to hunt down the creators of malls and Christmas. Now there were some dark beasts if he'd ever seen any. The two perpetrators had to be in cahoots, it was all just an evil scheme cooked up to give Yohji plenty of stress. And if what Ouka-chan had said about stress being the cause of hair loss, then he was doomed to be bald before he was thirty! Of course Red was always stressing over something and the ice prince did still have nice thick, shiny, vibrant hair. And why were his thoughts on hair anyway? It made no sense to him what-so-ever. If Asuka had still been alive she would have been laughing her ass off at him right about then; while Aya would probably have been hacking him to bits for the new nickname.   
  
Several women and occasionally men had attempted to chat him up that day but for once Yohji Kudou was having none of it. He needed a smoke, and that meant he had to get outside the mall and fast. Phone numbers and good times could wait, or else his lungs might explode from the nicotine withdrawl. As he pushed his way through the throng of people he caught a flash of silver and then the twinkling of light out of the corner of his eye. Curious Yohji stopped and turned in the direction of the object that had caught his attention, causing a few people behind him to run into each other and cursing him in rather colorful ways.   
  
All he could see though was a sea of people. His eyes roamed over the mass but to his chagrin he saw nothing that could explain what had caught his attention. Giving up he made to continue on when he spotted the flashing silver again. Focusing on the spot he'd seen it last Yohji was rewarded with a glimpse of a jewler's cart before his view was entirely obscurred by the shoppers moving en masse.   
  
Nicotine craving warred with natural curiosity as Yohji stood there, shifting from one foot to the other in indecision. Get a cig and a few minutes away from the over crowded mall, or find out what merchandise was to be had?   
"Mou," he said with a slight smirk forming on his lips "curiosity kills the Balinese yet again."  
With a snicker and smirk still in place Yohji began the ever tedious process of moving _against_ the tide of people. His reward he happily noted was the safe arrival at the jewler's cart.   
  
He had perused nearly every shop in the mall, including vending carts. So naturally he expected to instantly recognize both the small display of merchandise and the seller. Strangely though he was wrong. Spread out before him was an assortment of rings, daggers, bracelets, gauntlets, pendants, necklaces, and earings. If the display sign was to be believed, which he had no reason not to, they were all silver and handcrafted. Now this was definately an interesting development he thought happily.   
"Irasshaimase!" The cart's owner greeted happily.   
  
As Yohji had been surveying the merchandise a woman stepped away from the cart's cash register and came to stand next to the small table in front of Yohji. She was a matronly type, thick dark hair gathered and clipped back at the nape of her neck. She wore a simple pale blue kimono decorated with orchirds done in a slightly darker shade of blue. Her eyes were an unusual, and uncommon violet color that shined with hidden mirth. Pale orchird skin held only a few wrinkles around the eyes and mouth, the only sign of her age as she stood proudly before him. The woman appeared regal, yet kind and for some odd reason that Yohji could not fathom she instantly brought a mental image of Aya to his mind. Same regal posture, pale skin and the eyes, the same bewitching unique shade of eyes; but that was were the similarities ended. Yohji shook his head slightly to dispel the eerie thoughts. Guilt of not finding a present for Red must have been doing funny things to his mind.  
"Aa, I'm looking for something to give someone, as a present."   
Yohji said, fumbling for the words to vocalize his request.  
"Ano, what does this 'someone' like then?"   
The woman asked, smiling at Yohji's discomfort.  
"Well..."  
Yohji began than paused. What _did_ Aya like anyway? His sword, that gold earing of his, reading, glaring at people? Not exactly a normal list of things a person likes.  
"Perhaps it would help us to find something for this 'someone' of yours if you described them a bit ne?" The woman questioned politely interupting Yohji's vagrant thoughts.  
"Well he-"  
"He ne?" she said with a slight giggle. "Kareshi desu ka?"  
  
For a moment no words came to Yohji's mind as the woman's innocent question reverberated around in his mind. He opened his mouth and tried to formulate a response but words continued to elude him, instead a few indignant squeaks came out. Heat flared up his neck and across his cheeks in a gloriuos shade of red that rivaled Aya's hair in vibrancy. His reaction spoke volumes to the woman and she raised a hand to her mouth hiding the very unprofessional grin that threatened to sread across her face.  
"Iie, we're just friends. I think"   
He added unsure of himself for the first time since puberty.  
"Tomodachi ne? So desu ka. Ano, sounds as though you are treading thin ice then with your friend."  
"I guess you could say that" Yohji agreed after a moment's hesitation.   
  
It was partly true. Everytime he managed to earn a certain degree of respect in Red's eyes he did manage to flub it up, and he had nearly been introduced to Mr. Pointy Katana-sama a few times more than he liked to admit. As his mind flitted over past events Yohji missed the woman's small frown of worry and the nearly imperceptible narrowing of her eyes.  
"Yes, our friendship is treading thin ice," Yohji agreed. "He dosn't trust anyone, dosn't want to let anyone in. He's been hurt before, I think..."  
"I see," the woman murmured, lips pursed in thought.  
Her eyes skimmed over the table beside her briefly before lighting up happily; a sparkel returning to her eyes.  
"This, I think, will be perfect for your friend."  
Gently she reached out and selected a necklace. Two seperate chains were held together by what appeared to be a single pendant. Lifting it off the table, she held out the necklace for Yohji's inspection.  
  
The pendant turned out to be two katanas one crossed over the other. Holding the two together was a small circle embedded with amethyst jewels. Reaching out a hand to touch it he noticed that although the katanas were next together with the circle connecting them they weren't actually connected. Two parts of a whole. Two seperate necklaces, that when placed together made one. Intrigued Yohji raised curious eyes to meet those of the smiling woman. The light in her eyes sent a shiver down his spine. _"The eyes, so very much like Aya's, or rather, more like how they should be"_ he thought.   
"This is a special item" the woman said, "meant to be given to one whom you care about greatly."  
At the woman's words Yohji could feel his blush from earlier returning.  
"Tell me something, do you know what shape represents love?"  
The question was so random, it threw Yohji for a moment into confusion. "A heart", he answered at last perplexed at the woman's logic and the direction of her comments.  
"Yes, and if you were to draw a heart how would you do so?" Not waiting for his reply she continued on. "You would start at one point, move upwards, curve and move downwards then stop and repeat the action again but in the opposite direction ne?"  
As she spoke she drew a heart shape in the air accentuating her words with each movement. The whole time her eyes were locked solely on Yohji's. "In effect it is the perfect symbol for love, for it starts at one point then ends. But friendship is not that way." Pausing a moment she traced a circle in the air the continued on. "Friendship is represented by the circle, it has no beginning and no end. It is continuous. You will love those in your life, and it may last till death do you part, but it will end when the other moves on. And in your next life you may not even meet that other soul ever again. But friendship, true friendship is forever. Those you count as friends will always be there, and love born of friendship never fades." Placing the pendants into Yohji's outstretched hand she released the chains, allowing the silver to pool into the palm of his hand. "Strong links make strong chains, binds that can never be broken. Your friend is lucky to have meet you in this life, and those past."   
  
Nodding softly Yohji murmured his thanks, and paid the strange woman. He was handed two seperate velvet boxes for the necklaces, instead he placed the boxes inside the bag and turned to leave; necklaces still in hand. For some odd reason Yohji could not bear to put the necklaces away, out of sight. As Yohji placed the boxes into the little shopping bag he noticed the bag held a strange symbol on it. Squinting he tried to read the uninteligible kanji beneath it, to no avail. Curious as to the name of the vendor he turned back hoping to glimpse the cart's sign. However where there had once stood a small jewler's cart, there was only a cardboard cutout from a new movie; advertising its availability on DVD. The woman with the pecuilarly familar eyes and the cart were just, gone.   
  
TBC   
  


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**Author's Notes:** Just who was that strange and mysterious woman that sold Yohji the friendship necklace? Muwhahaha! I bet ya'all can figgure out her connection to Aya-kun ^_^ .  
So desu ka = roughly 'I see'  
Kareshi = boyfriend, I didn't wish to use koibito for obvious reasons.  
The use of the katanas in the pendant was meant to be symbolic not because they are Aya-kun's weapon of choice but rather because a katana is the symbol of a warrior and of bravery, of strength; hence a strong friendship.  
  
Comments, critique, candy, bribes? All are greatly appreciated ^_^  
archive: Nanashi - http://www21.brinkster.com/myladydragon 


	3. part 3

**archive:**   
Nanashi - http://www21.brinkster.com/myladydragon  
Fandomination.net - user: Lady Dragon  
Fanfiction.net - user: Lady Dragon  
MediaMiner.org - user: LadyDragon  
**Author's Note:** I must apologize for the rather lenghty delay in getting this chapter out, gomen ne? I hit a road block about mid-way through and then when I finally finished I just kept finding all these errors that I had not noticed before. Woo hoo! Part 3 is double length, considering its the last part, so kick back minna and enjoy.   
  
Okay I dont know how many of you are going to be able to view the fic before Christmas. With the rather unusual weather we got here in NM; snow, rain, ice, sleet and hail, power was out off and on for the past day and a half over here. Hence the extremely late posting   
-_-; gomen ne?! And does anyone know whats up with fanfiction.net? I've been trying to log in to upload the last chapter there but I cant even reach the main page!   
  
Mou nevermind, I borrowed a friend's comp, who didn't use AOL and lo and behold I find AOL users cant view the site. Well thats just fucking great. To all those who missed the fic because it wasn' up go kick ff.net's arses and tell them to get off their lazy butts and do something about the upkeep of the site instead of banning and booting good authors and great fiction!   


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**A Heart Two Sizes Too Small**  
by Lady Dragon  
  
  
**Part 3**   
  
The strange encounter had left him a bit distracted, oh who the _hell_ was he trying to kid; he was fucking freaked out. Jewler's cart and woman gone in the blink of an eye, and the following day as he went to retrieve the necklaces he'd noticed another strange occurence. The logo on the bag was gone; yet the bag itself, velvet cases, and the necklaces remained. Something most definately _not right_ was going on. Damn he needed a drink.   
  
The day spent with the freaky woman was still all to vivid in Yohji's mind. Each detail forever engrained on his already tired and beaten psyche. He had returned that evening, fresh from the unatural shopping expedition, bag still in hand to find the house and its occupants still very much in the norm. Weird as hell. With a frantic speed Yohji had tossed the gift into his closet and dressed for a night of clubbing in a hurry. Dancing and drinking all night had helped him put the strange incident out of mind. Up until the following morning that is, when he was awoken by a frantic Ken in search of wrapping paper. Still hung over from the night before he had mumbled some incoherent directions leading to the wrapping paper's whereabouts and slammed his door shut in Ken-ken's face. Hey he was _not_ his best at seven thirty in the fucking morning!   
  
It was then that the ill-begotten gift had wormed its way back into Yohji's mind, and after another half hour or so of slumber he had made his way after Ken in search of wrapping paper. That was when he noticed that the logo on the bag was missing. Thourghly spooked Yohji had come to his first logical conclusion of that morning. He was high. High as a cloud, and didn't even know it. Of course that didn't make much sense but it was more plausible than vanishing logos and jewlers right?   
  
Christmas gift wrapped and placed under the tree, Yohji had headed out to handle his morning shift, which he was already forty-five minutes late for. And of all the days he had the morning shift, he just _had_ to share it with Red and a store full of noisy school girls. That day being one in the same with the day he's hung over, mind plagued with vanishing carts, amethyst eyes, and hentai ladies. More than once Aya had caught him spacing off while stariing into his, Aya's eyes. One of the school girls, Annese-san Omittchi called her, had squealed with delight while Omi dragged her off with him to class. Aya shooting 'glares of death' at her the whole time.   
  
Normally Yohji would have sympathised with the young woman; had she not caught him lost in Aya's eyes and had begun asking if he, Yohji Kudou had a crush on 'Aya-san. "Damn Yaoi freaks" he had muttered half-heartedly amidst the chorus of giggles from the departing girls. Of course the rest of the morning Yohji had spent tip-toeing on egg shells. When at last Ken had arrived to relieve them, Yohji had fled the Koneko and made himself scarce through the rest of the day and evening. Not daring to return till the following morning.   
  
Granted Aya probably didn't blame him for the incident, to much, but it sure did not help to soothe Yohji's unease one bit. His nerves, having been refined from his years as a private investigator and now as an assasin, were to say the least extremely on edge. And so to the great displeasure of Ken and Omi, Yohji had not returned to the Koneko till this morning, Christmas Eve. Since the shop wasn't to be opened that day Yohji felt relatively sure that his unanounced leave of abscence wouldn't be noticed or minded much, if at all.   
  
He'd been wrong, very wrong.   
  
His return had been greeted with a pouting Omi bundled in at least three layers of blankets, and a dozing Ken camped out in front of the door. Within seconds of opening the door and walking in; Omi had sprung from his nest of blankets like a deranged jack-in-the box and begun firing a barrage of questions at Yohji. Eventually waking Ken in the process. Yohji stood there a few moments stunned that his departure had caused such a fuss and blinking in bewilderment.  
"Yohji-kun! Where have you been? We've been worried sick about you! Why didn't you tell us you were leaving? We thought you'd been mugged, or worse."  
"I-"  
"Aya-kun and Ken-kun were looking everywhere for you! You should have CALLED!"  
Huge cerulean blue chibi eyes looked up at him balefull. Tears already watering their blue depths and beginning to trail down his puffy cheeks.  
"Boku wa..., gomn ne? I must have lost track of the time."  
Yohji mumbled hopelessly lost at the sad sight before him. It was so not fair! He didn't do anything wrong, yet he got the full chibi-treatment, water works included. Some days it did _not_ pay to get out of bed.  
"Omi's right Yohji, we were all uh kinda worried about ya."  
Ken mumbled standing behind Omi and atmepting to rub the sleep from his eyes.  
"Oi, you guys are acting like this is the first time I've ever spent the night out. Pft! your destroying my image."  
"Yohji-kun its Christmas Eve, you didn't even tell us you'd be leaving somewhere, you just ran off and left us to worry."  
"Demo, Aya does it all the time-"  
Yohji knew it sounded childish but he couldn't refrain from saying it  
"Thats Aya-kun, it makes him more mysterious and attractive!"  
"Nani?" Yohji sputtered indignantly "Whats so attractive about that?"  
"Aah..."  
Omi started then trailed off a deep flush creeping up his neck and spreading across his face. Ken begun to look back and forth between the two in, a confused look on his face as he atempted to figure out what had made Omi start blushing.  
"Omittchi, if I didn't know better I'd think you were the president of Aya's fan club or at least a member."  
"Aya has a fan club?"  
"Yohji-kun!!"  
With a small smirk and wink Yohji reached out and gently ruffled Omi's hair. Witht he two youngest members of Weiß riled up like housewives Yohji could safely rule out a peaceful nap in his own bed.  
"Yohji, wait where are you ging?"  
Ken called out as Yohji turned to head back out into the cold morning air. "Somewhere, dont worry Ken-ken I'll be back for dinner."  
"Mou, Yohji-kun!"  
Waving jovially Yohji left. He hadn't lied he was going somewhere he just wasn't quite sure where yet. Aah it was a good thing they weren't on a mission. At least Omi wouldn't be typing up any "Balinesse has problems" reports.   
  
  


**·.·*·*·*·*·*·.·**

  
  
"Whats wrong with Yohji?"  
"I dunno Ken-kun, demo he said he'd back...so he just needs some time to himself."  
Omi replied nodding his head as he shut the door and headed to the kitchen.  
"Oh."  
Was all Ken said, scratching his head in mild bewilderment. It really was to early to be trying to understand his fellow teamates.  
"Ken-kun, help me make some breakfast!"  
Omi called fromt he kitchen.  
Shrugging Ken gave up. On a normal day Yohji was always had to understand.  
"Wakata."  
Instead of helping though, Ken headed straight to the fridge.  
"Ken-kun thats for Christmas dinner!"  
"But I'm hungry, now."  
A serious of cries, crashes and even growls issued forth shortly after, carrying upwards to the red head standing at the top of the staircase. He'd stood there unoticed by the crazed trio since Omi's first cry of "Yohji-kun". An outside observer to a world he was a part of but did not yet belong.   
  
  


**·.·*·*·*·*·*·.·**

  
  
It was amusing to watch the hordes of people hurrying down the streets, parcles clasped tightly in case of pick-pockets. Up above snow fluries began thier descent to earth. Dancing above the pedestrians and traffic in an intricate dance, unique to each flake of snow. Procrastinators hurried about this Christmas Eve in search of last minute gifts while others, such as himself were out and about simply for the fun of it.   
  
Each step took Yohji further and further away from the Koneko and closer to his unknown destination. His destination was known to him on a subconcious level only. At present his consious self was thinking he was merely takeing a walk, going for a smoke, or maybe even trolling a bit. Over all an atempt to avoid the house and its weird occupants. He was not confused not in the least. Hours passed and still Yohji kept walking, pausing only once at noon to grab a warm drink and an equally warm meal at a small cafe.   
  
The whole while his mind busily running over the recent chain of events. His meal finished and coffee drained, Yohji left making sure to give the petite beauty of a waitress a genrous tip and his phone number. His final destination was still clear across town and had his concious part of mind been in control and not the subconcious he'd have known to take Seven or at least buy a metro ticket instead of walking.   
  
Hands shoved deep in pockets Yohji pressed on, with each step an idea began to form in his head. Determination leaking into his stride, Yohji began to walk faster. Sure it had been a few years since he'd finally broken off the yearly ritual. After Asuka's deah the yearly visit had seemed meaningless, she had been the one who still held faith in the world, not him. Off in the not so far distance now the sound of mission bells could be heard calling parisheners near. A glance at his analog watch confirmed his suspicions; the three o-clock mass was about to begin. Maybe Asuka was smiling and happy he'd remebered this year. Or probably more likely she was laughing at what it took to get Yohji near a church again without her insistant pulling and tugging on his sleeve. If he went to the mass and then imediately took a subway back to the other side of the town, and the Koneko he'd be home in time for a slightly late dinner. After all the honroable Yohji Kudou never breaks a promise.   
  
  


**·.·*·*·*·*·*·.·**

  
  
Plates were put out, silverware dolefully placed by each plate. Dishes upon dishes of great smelling, and steaming hot food was then laid upon the table. Four places were set at the table, at present only two where occupied. Two men sat at the table; one the picture perfect perfection of poise, grace and elegance, the other a combination of eager innocence, gluttony and warm sunshine. As the two sat eyeing the plates and dishes, one eagerly the other somewhat hesitantly a younger boy danced about continuing to bring in more and more dishes laden with food.   
  
"Omi, what is with the big feast, not that I'm complaining."  
One male asked, eyes still dancing over the food in eager anticipation while hands busily atempted to serve his plate to the brim without the other two noticing.  
His energy spent, and all food now served the one named Omi sat down at his place eyes narrowing at the still empty seat usually occupied by one Kudou Yohji.  
"Dont worry Ken-kun, theres still plenty of food for tomorrow."  
Omi replied while swatting Ken's hand away from the rest of the food.  
"Good! Now I'm hungry, Aya pass me the rice balls."  
Without a word Aya dutifully passed Ken the requested dish, his own plate barely containing any of the wonderfully prepared meal before him.   
  
Frowning at the red head's appetite, or rather, lack there of Omi began to question their teamate's health when the front door opened with a slam and a loud, somewhat boisturous greeting interupted him.  
"Ladies, I'm home!"  
Ken bristled at the comment while Omi stifled a laugh, Aya however appeared not to have heard or simply did not care. Entering the kitchen Yohji eyed the meal warrily.  
"I thought Christmas was tomorrow...?"  
He asked eyebrow raised in curiosity. Had he missed a day somehow?  
"It is! I just wanted to make a nice meal tonight."  
Omi said pouting slightly.  
"Well it looks good, bishounen."  
And with that Yohji sat down and began to serve himself as well.   
  
Dinner was passed with jovial laughter and excitement. Only one person deigning not to comment unless spoken to directly; even then he would only respond with a muttered 'hn'. Occasionaly the red head would look up at their laughter, a lost look in his eyes before shrugging it off and continuing to eat his meal in stoic silence. All of this Yohji took in carefully filing it away in a metal file cabinet for latter reference. As the meal dwindled down Aya stood and excused himself, quickly retreating to the solitude of his room. A hushed silence fell over the three remaining diners at their comrade's abrut departure.  
"At least he stayed for most of the meal and said 'excuse me'." Ken pointed out before raising his glass to his lips one last time. Rising slowly and atempting to stretch out every muscle Ken excused himself as well and headed to the den with the excuse of wanting to watch some t.v. before 'hitting the sack'.   
  
Of course Yohji and Omi knew he was really in the den shaking his presents in an atempt to figure out what they were. But neither wished to dampen the brunette's mood and so made no comment.   
  
With twice his normal cheer Omi began to clear off the table and start in on the dishes. After an hour turned into two and Yohji had joined Ken in the den enjoying what appeared to be a Pokemon Christmas special Omi began to get frustrated. Just how was Santa going to deliver gifts if everyone was up? Never mind the fact that a fat man in a red suit sneaking into the home of four assasins was insanely hysterical, and probably extremely deadly. Nor the fact that he was a bit to old to believe in Santa any longer Omi marched into the den, shoulders pulled back in a determined sort of way. Marching up to the t.v. Omi grabbed a hold of the plug and gave it a hard yank.   
"Oi, chibi-"  
"Hey I was-"  
"Go. To. Sleep."  
Omi's face still seemed warm and inviting but somehow his voice lacked its usual cheer. With three simple words the chibi had commanded them to go to sleep and promised death to those who did not obey his command, imediately. Perhaps Omi was spending a little to much time trying to figure out and understand Aya, Yohji thought. The fact that every year Omi forced them to retire early due to the fat man's imeniant arrival didnt even enter into the minds of Yohji and Ken. Instead both meekly said goodnight and climbed up the stairs, vowing to return later that evening when the chibi was deep asleep.   
  
As the pair reached the landing and seperated to go to their respective rooms Omi smiled a smile that would have dashed the other's angelic image of him. With an evil smirk and gleeful chuckeling Omi pulled out a plastic bag he had stashed behind the cleaning supplies under the sink. Checking to make sure the others had not decided to sneak back downstairs Omi slung the bag over his shoulder and walked into the den. Under the couch lay two rolls of wrapping paper, a pair of scissors, gift tags, ribbon, bows, and a dispenser of tape.   
  
Reaching into his plastic bag Omi retrieved a second and smaller bag filled with the small items he would use as stocking stuffers. Yes, in this household Santa Clause was roughly five foot six, still in high school, and did not even have to shave. Stockings stuffed and miscilanious gifts placed around the tree with gift tags signed by "Santa Clause", Omi sat down and began to the wrap his gifts. Omi would make certain that each member of Weiß received several gifts apiece and hopefully this year Yohji had toned down on the gag gifts. Hey he was a kid, and it was Christmas! He could dream all he wanted.   
  
  


**·.·*·*·*·*·*·.·**

  
  
A single jade eye opened and looked at the alarm clock in disdain. 11:30 flashed in the owner's mind and a moment later both jade eyes were open and glaring at the clock; giving it the owner's impersonation of the "Fujimiya Glare-of-Death". The alarm clock was not impressed. Groaning at the audacity of being forced into his room hours before he was ready to, resulting in a sleepless night Yohji began to peel back the covers. A drink, maybe some t.v. and he'd be asleep in time, or so he wagered. With a practised ease he slipped from the covers and crept silently and steathily across his room and into the hall. Keeping to the shadows he glanced up and down the hall warrily. All four bedroom doors were shut, loud snores echoing forth from the direction of Ken's room.   
  
No light peeked out from underneath Omi's door signifying the boy wasn't awake and online, nor was the light on in the bathroom. The coast was clear. Laughing softly at the ease with which he would be able to reach the kitchen, Yohji crept silently through the hall and down the stairs. As he passed the den he noticed the sihlotte of someone sitting near the christmas tree their back towards the wall, lights playing across their face briefly before casting said person back into the shadows. Instantly Yohji's survival instincts kicked into high gear, but before he could atack or even locate a weapon his mind supplied a name for the person, Aya.   
  
Not quite sure what Aya was doing up since he was not the type to rebel against Omittchi's orders, Yohji slunk in to the den. Aya did not even look up at Yohji's arrival the man continued to just stare off into space lost in his thoughts or memories. Yohji stood there a few moments waiting for Aya to acknowledge his presence. Instead of looking up at the blonde the other merely inclined his head towards the vacant couch. Eyes never once leaving the flashing lights of the tree, back still pressed againt the wall as he sat on the floor in silence.   
  
Taking the silent and hesitantly given invitation Yohji sat down on the couch. Jade eyes locked on the crimson hair of the younger male. It was rare that Yohji sat or stood in any one place in silence, at least not for very long. Instead he prefered to fill the quiet with some sort of noise, any noise. Silence only allowed the pain from the past to return and overwhelm him. Aya appeared to be different, or at least a masochist. Yeah that was it, Aya was a masochist. He inflicted the pain from his past onto himself in a way that left no scars, no physical way to discern. But still he punished himself. For what Yohji did not know, or understand.  
"Hey, Aya?"  
Silence greeted his atempt at conversation. Yohji warred with himself briefly. Aya tended to like solitude and silence, preferring to be away from people. Talking tended to drive the other away, but since he had invited Yohji to sit down then maybe he was up to company? To put it simply, the man confused Yohji most of the time. Sighing, Yohji decided to give it another go.  
"Oi Aya, what are you thinking about?"  
Amethyst eyes glanced his way briefly, shooting a somewhat half-hearted glare in his direction before turning back towards the tree and its lights. Frowning Yohji gave Aya a glare of his own. And said the first thing that came to his mind.  
"You know what Asuka loved the most about Christmas? The lights."  
Well that had to be the best way to start a conversation he thought wryly, mentioning your dead lover to a person thats already depressed, smove move Kudou. But instead of giving Yohji an exasperated look for speaking of Asuka yet again in his presence, Aya did something he had not really expected of the red hed.  
"Who's Asuka?"  
Yohji blinked in confusion for a few moments. He'd spoken of Asuka many of times, did Aya just never pay attention or did he merely ignore the older man?  
"She was my old partner." Yohji began, not quite sure how to tell someone about his past. When he had mentioned his partner in the past it had always been provoked or just in passing. "Back then I was a private detective, Asuka was my partner. I loved her."  
There simple. Short sentences were best in times like these, yet he still felt tears welling up in the back of his eyes.  
"Hn."  
Was all Aya said as he turned back to the tree, glaring at it as if he meant to send it up in flames with his eyes alone. Minutes passed as the two sat in silence.   
"Its sad not being with the ones you love this time of year. She was all I had left, then a case went bad and I never really got the chance to tell her how much she meant to me. I try to forget, the grief, the guilt, but she's always there in my mind and my heart. Nobody can replace her no matter what."  
Aya's glare had only intensified as Yohji spoke, though his body seemed to have turned towards Yohji as he spoke.  
"Asuka used to love going to church on Christmas Eve and then after we left the mass we'd stop in this small little resturant where they served home cooked food that actually tasted home cooked."   
A small genuine smile spread out on Yohji's lips as he remembered.  
"After dinner I'd take her out through the neighborhoods and we'd just look at all the lights and decorations. Even though the rich side of town had the best displays out she always enjoyed the simpler ones. Asuka used to say the spirit of Christmas was captured in the simpliest of ways, not with money and over priced extravagance."  
"You miss her."  
Yohji jumped at the sound of Aya's quiet voice, having for a moment forgotten that he was there.  
"Of course. What about you Ayan, do you have anybody you miss or wish to be with right now?"  
"Dont call me that."  
"Yohji blinked, then smirked "What, Ayan? It suits you ya know, besides I need to call you something besides just Aya."  
"Why?"  
"Because I do. Everyone must have a nickname given lovingly by the honorable Yohji Kudou."  
"You think to highly of yourself."  
For a moment Yohji was hurt by Aya's coldness and it showed briefly in his eyes before he could hide it behind a smile.  
"Well I dont hear anybody complaining, besides you that is."  
"Hn."  
Aya growled before turning back to the tree, once again lost in his thoughts. Silence stretched on between the two. It was neither uncomfortable nor companiable, just a tad uneasy.  
"What about the rest of your family?"  
Aya asked suddenly, breaking the silence.  
"What about them?"  
"Why are you not with them, your lover died, not your family."  
Trust Aya to pick up on the fine print.  
"My father didn't really have time for me and mother had died a few years before that, from cancer. After Asuka died I never wanted to return home" Yohji paused deciding how to phrase the last bit. "I was lost in my grief, and didn't know how to deal with it. When I didn't contact my family after news of Asuka's death reached them and I hadn't called everyone assumed I was dead. A few months later father passed away." He added with a shrug. I didn't want to contact them after that, it felt like it was to late to go back to them. Then a few weeks later Kritiker came knocking. The rest as they say, is history."  
  
Glancing down Yohji found a pair of amethyst eyes locked on his in thought. At that moment Aya looked young, younger than Ken even and lost. The shared pain of losing someone in his eyes. Nodding slightly the younger assasin looked down briefly when he looked back up to face Yohji his face was once again composed, icey mask in place.  
"You never answered my question."  
"What question?"  
Aya returned with narrowed eyes.  
"Is there anybody in your life?"  
Yohji watched as Aya seemed to retreat back into himself.  
"Why do you ask?"  
"Because I want to know."  
Yohji countered.  
"Why?"  
Aya's distrustful nature was starting to grate on his nerves. Did the man honestly think everyone was out to get him?  
"Your a friend, and despite your ice princess attitude I want to know."  
Not the nicest way to phrase an answer he decided as Aya's back stiffened and the temperature in the room dropped about ten degrees.  
"I'm not your friend."  
To say Yohji was floored by the comment was an understatement. "Bullshit! If you weren't a friend do you think I'd or Omi or Ken would put up with your bitchy attitude? Your not the most warmest person you know!"  
Yohji growled back, eyes narrowing in anger.  
"I was never the warm person to begin with!"  
Aya screamed then stopped glancing up towards the ceiling as if he could see the top floor's occupants. Minutes passed in silence but no stirring from above sounded. Both Ken and Omi were still sound asleep.  
  
Aya was confused. Yohji sat on the couch and though he tried to hide it pain and anger seemed to be etched across his face. Both emotions only intensifying when ever he atempted to distance himself from the elder male. The man had called him a friend, and here he sat hurting him. He wanted to talk to the blonde, to trust him but a part of him wouldn't let go of the idea that in the end the blonde would only be hurt in time for being his friend. Wasn't that how it always turned out? People hurt because he let them get close. His previous Kritiker teams were both a testament to that beleif.  
"My imouto."  
The moment the two words left his mouth Aya wished he could take them back. What was he doing opening up to someone? It seemed natural though to talk openly with the blonde, maybe it was due to the man's earlier confessions?   
"I have a younger sister."  
Five simple words and they changed everything. The man would never look at him with respect now, just contempt for his weakness.  
"Thats great,"   
Yohji said smiling slightly at Aya's atempt at conversation. When Aya did not look up or comment the blonde wondered about the yonger sister. "Right, Aya?"  
"Her name, is Aya."  
The statement had shocked the blonde, that much was obvious by the startled intake of breathe and rounded eyes.  
"But your-"  
"Iie, honto namae. . .Ran desu."  
Once again the den was submerged in silence this time around though it was a shocked silence.  
"I took her name, to keep her living in a way. To avenge her. Aya-chan..."  
He began, trying to force the words that did not want to come.  
"No, Ran."  
"Huh?"  
Aya asked startled.  
"You dont have to tell me. Not if you dont want to, you can tell me when you feel like it. Dont do it because you feel obligated."  
Yohji interupted with a sad smile.  
"Arigatou."  
"But I am going to call you Ayan from now on."  
"Nani?"  
"Now it fits you."  
A small smile flitted briefly over Aya's lips and the two stared at each other in understanding. Out in the hallway the clock chimed the coming of the midnight hour starlting the two briefly.  
"Merry Christmas Ayan."  
"Same to you, Yohji."  
Looking at Aya's happy face an idea crystalized in Yohji's mind. Winking at the younger assain he rose and went to the tree selecting a present he returned and handed it to Aya.  
"Whats this?"  
Aya asked accepting the gift cautiously.  
"It's Christmas morning, technically, open it."  
Eyes glancing warrily once more at Yohji, pale hands carefully began to unwarp the gift managing to take the wrapping off in one whole piece. Folding it neatly Aya set it to the side and let his eyes rest on the jewler's box nestled in his hand.   
  
Impatient, Yohji began to shuffle from one foot to the other. Hopefully he wouldn't receive a "Shi-Ne Kudou!" for the gift. With a gentleness that suprised even himself Aya opened the case, inside lay a single necklace. The pendant on it was a katana a half circle embedded with amethyst was crossed over it. The circle however looked as though another piece was meant to conncet to it, but no other pieces lay in the box that Aya could see. Carefully he lifted the necklace up and held it lightly in his grasp.  
"Try it on!"  
Yohji encouraged a tinge of impatience and worry in his voice. Aya obliged and slid the chain over his neck the pendant falling to rest on his chest. Curious amethyst eyes looked up to meet sparkling emerald ones.  
"Do you like it?"  
Aya just nodded not sure if words could suffice what he felt. Yohji sat down on the floor across from him, reaching into the front of his shirt he pulled out the necklace's twin and held it out towards Aya.  
"Its a friendship necklace," he began with a smile "meant to be given to your best friend." As he finsihed Yohji clasped Aya's half in his hand connecting the two together. "Zutto."   
  
The katana's lay together, the two halfs of the circle connecting them, making moisture begin to form in the back of Aya's eyes. Something he had not done and thought impossible for such a long time. He wasn't quite sure what to say, thanks seemed to mudane, a grunt wasn't exactly a great response, and he'd be damned if he started crying. He settled instead for the only thing that came to his mind.  
"Hai, zutto."   
  
  


**·.·*·*·*·*·*·.·**

  
  
They had sat downstairs talking for another hour before either of them felt the need to sleep. Even then it was not the promise of sleep that lured them upstairs but the need to not upset Omi. The youngest assain had gone through so much trouble to give them all a happy Christmas, going so far as to forge presents from 'Santa Clause' that still only fooled Ken. Hoping Omi would not realise that they had disobeyed orders and not stayed in bed the two went to their rooms to cath a few hours sleep before the children of Weiß decided to wake the eldest two up from slumber land with cries of joy and the sounds of wrapping paper being shredded from packages.   
  
Shutting the door to his room Aya glanced over to the single light in his room. On his dresser sat a single candle that he had lit in honor of his family and the Christmas that he would not be spending with them, again. Next to it lay a single photograph, the only one he had been able to scrounge from the wreckage of his home. Four people smiled happily from within the picture. His gaze fell on his sister's bright and smiling expression before falling on the cheerful smiles of his father and mother.   
  
The picture had been taken three weeks before the incident. His mother had let her long and glorious dark hair down rather than wearing it pulled back in its customary style. Amethyst eyes sparkled up at his crimson haired father who had actually smiled that day in pure joy. He remebered that day well, his father had received a bonus and a raise that day and they had celebrated. Nothing but smiles all around. "Kaasan, tousan..."  
Aya whispered, fingers gently tracing the features of his deceased parents. Sighing slighlty his hand fell away and instead clasped the necklace he wore around his neck. He had a new family now, and nothing would keep him from protecting them.  
"Kaasan, tousan wherever you are at now, I just want you to know that I have a home now. I'll be, okay. Merry Christmas"  
With a small smile Aya turned and slipped into his bed. A few hours sleep was always a good thing. And maybe now, now that he had a home, a family and most importantly a friend he could trust, the nightmares would finally stop.   
  
- OWARI -   


* * *

Okay I hoped you all enjoyed that ^_^ to those who guessed that the woman was Aya's mom, well you be right. Anyway merry x-mas everyone. I hope there arn't to many errors in this fic ^^; I never did get a chance to finish checking it over for errors....   
  
Some might be wondering why Aya didn't tell Yohji more about himself, but I'm sorry I just couldn't see Ayan opening up THAT much. ^^ at least he'll let Yotan call him Ayan now ne? *watches readers pick up squishy tomatoes* eep!   
  
Candy, is most greatly appreciated, but so are reviews! ! 


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